channel your inner therapist

I’ve been doing this writing exercise off-and-on for the past two weeks and it’s been incredibly helpful- so I’m sharing it.

Like most of the awesome things I find on the internet, I got it from Joy the Baker’s “Let it Be Sunday” post. She linked to this article which outlines the writing exercise. I’m not going to go into the whole thing bc you can read it yourself, but in case you don’t want to go read it yourself, here it is in a nutshell: You make three columns. In the first one, you write down something you’re telling yourself that you suspect might be nightmare-fuel anxiety talking (I label this column “cray cray”- you can do something less judgmental). In the second column, you check your cray cray thoughts against a list of common “cognitive distortions” and identify which ones you’re doing. Then, in the third column, you reframe your crazy talk into something much more rational. Like the article says, it takes about 5 minutes. What’s great though, is that for me, it has a generalizing effect. I find myself checking the crazy talk, identifying cognitive distortions and reframing my thoughts all in my head- no writing supplies needed.

And “cognitive distortions,” in a nutshell, are common thought patterns people get into which are not productive and lead to anxiety/depression/frustration. The ones I’m usually guilty of are black/white or polarized thinking, overgeneralization or my continual parade of shoulds. I’m picturing this now as a parade of people with protest signs that all start with “You should…” like “You should stay off Facebook” and “You should read more” and “You should keep up with the dishes better” and “You should smile more” (I seriously caught myself thinking that this week- like I mansplained my effing self, really????).

The article has a good list of 10 cognitive distortions- but if you google “cognitive distortions,” you’ll find other versions of the list… or bigger lists (do we need any more? I don’t know if the list of 50 is helpful, guys).

Here’s a picture of my journal from just now making myself be okay without having to do “something productive” every single moment of my spring break:

DEB81F6B-64A9-424C-BA48-973485D886C0

I loovveee how simple it is- and that you can do it any time you have paper, pen and a list of cognitive distortions… Do they make a pocket-chart version of those? Perhaps a cross-stitch sampler pattern? Maybe I’ve finally found my Etsy niche……..

Advertisements

Note to myself: You will never have “the time”

This is a note to myself for when I am going to inevitably wish that it was 4pm, that it was the weekend, that it was spring break, that it was summer break or that it was some other time that it’s not right at this moment.

You are stressed out when you’re on vacation too. You are unsure of what is the best way to use your time at all times- regardless of what your current obligations are. Absolutely everything is temporary. You will regret not being present for the moment you’re currently living.

So- it’s unnecessary to wait for that “free” time to be present. That time will never come. There is always something occupying the time. It’s unnecessary to wait for permission- to wait until all your “work” is done- to take care of yourself, to take a deep breath, to get enough sleep, to find joy in things, to be kind, to take time for your passions, to write something on your blog, to read for pleasure, to clean your workspace, to call your friends- to do all those things you’re putting off for “when you have time.” That time will never come. There is always something occupying the time.

Here’s a picture of a contemplative fountain at the Hsi Lai Temple we visited today:

9549F82E-93E2-47A4-89E3-5355D497737AAt the moment this picture was taken, I was worried my son was going to disturb the praying women that walked up next to us… On the drive home, I decided I need to write more.

What to expect when you go to Lancaster to see the poppies.

You should go visit the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve right now. With the rest of Los Angeles, okay, but you should still go.

There will be lots of people. They will all be taking Instagram pictures. They will fill up the entire parking lot and cause traffic. It will still be worth it to go. This was something to kick off the bucket list.

8A219DD4-7AD0-4CD5-A4CE-8F454F4C7D3B

Here’s my son looking at a butterfly (out of frame). Yes- there were butterflies AND poppies.

B5B32CB9-B094-4518-AB1C-FCED818F70D5

The photographic challenge becomes trying to avoid getting other people in your shot.

F5BBBF3D-D1F4-4325-AA3C-41E1B8E98977

This is my poppy face.

61889A6E-C688-47A2-A224-54F76A58DB17

BC look! It’s the poppies that are all over the promotional materials for California!

6943BC4E-323C-4C4B-A0DE-167B33285585

More selfies!

422122BC-31B4-49C8-94CF-051AF01AFE9F

More poppies!

53B4FDA3-E3B3-4E61-A9A6-A04937E96EB6

More selfies!!

C6A2E061-9157-4A84-ACB9-841CC5F6117F

An all-around excellent St. Patrick’s Day. I’ve officially broken up with winter. We’re not a a thing anymore. #checkyalater

P.S. Lots of people got out of their cars and walked/sat among the poppies outside of the reserve (so they wouldn’t be fined). Don’t be those people. I might be a tool and go on a road trip for instagram pictures- but I’m not going to trample poppies to do it. Stay on the trails, yo.

P.P.S. I would also recommend writing out directions because you might not get reception (you def won’t if you have T-Mobile) in the middle of nowhere. Also bring water.

You are making your cold 1000x worse

Do you know who Sylvia Boorstein is? I didn’t know who she was until I found her book “Happiness is an Inside Job” on a mark-down table at Powell’s City of Books when I was looking for a cheap way to chill TF out I guess. Sylvia Boorstein is the wise Jewish-Buddhist grandmother you never had. She was the gateway for me to mindfulness, meditation and how to stop making a Big Deal out of everything.

Anyway- she has a story she tells in The Courage to Be Happy (which you can purchase on Amazon on audio-CASSETTE – what even IS that?) about her teacher, Sharon Salzberg, reminding her at the end of their meetings, “Sylvia, be happy.” I was so thrilled to find Sharon Salzberg has a collection of guided meditations available on the Insight Timer app (and do you have that? What are you DOING? And PLEASE don’t say you’re paying for Headspace or Calm or any other app you have to pay for. Stop it. You’re being silly.). Anyway- Sharon Salzberg has a loving kindness meditation which is magical anyway, but it was so cool to hear her say “be happy” over and over again.

OK- so- here’s the whole point. Sharon Salzberg has been doing a month-long meditation challenge and she’s invited those doing it to blog about it on her blogging platform. But I forgot my password. And the password recovery thing sends me an email which links me back to the “forgot your password” page which sends me an email which links me back to the “forgot your password page” which- you get the point. I emailed the support team asking them if it was part of the mindfulness challenge LOL. They didn’t respond.

SO I’m blogging about it on MY blog. The most useful thing I’ve learned is how to interrupt my reactions to discomfort. She has a meditation which asks you to consider your physical sensations. I have a cold like everybody has right now and I’m tired like I always am. And the thing is, I feel woozy and headachy which is bad enough, but what I also do is assign a ton of meaning to these feelings. I feel bad that I feel bad, but I feel worse about how I’m going to feel later- like later when I have to concentrate, or when I have to be enthusiastic about stuff in front of students or tomorrow when I have to work another full day or on the weekend when I’m supposed to be doing another set of things I have to do. I start to resent all the stuff I have to do when I’m sick and just want to lay down for a month… So this physical discomfort I have is made 1000x more powerful by all the thoughts and emotions that I attach to it.  She’s given me a tool to interrupt that thought process.

And perhaps you have a cold and are making it 1000x worse like me. So listen to this meditation I’m linking to again. For free! You don’t need to suffer more as a result of your suffering. So stop it. You’re being silly.

 

In loving memory of a 1998 Toyota Camry

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of this black 1998 Toyota Camry that I owned for 14 years of its 21-year life.

img_8038

My dad got it from my uncle- supplemented with the money I made working at the summer camp Sarah Silverman grew up at in New Hampshire right after I graduated from college. I needed a car to get to the teaching job I would start that fall- 2005. My dad and I drove it to Southern California where it lived happily ever after.

Well almost happily ever after… I had to replace the whole front half of the car after I rear-ended somebody on the 101 12 years ago. Um and I got that pretty dent by running into a building…

I learned how to work a car in my dad’s Jeep Cherokee in Portland- but I learned how to drive in LA in this car. I learned how to pass semi-trucks (maybe while screaming out loud…) and how to work my way around multiple lanes of traffic and eventually… how to parallel park… although I still go to great lengths to avoid doing so…

It leaked miserably and unrelentingly when it rained. In the days after the rain, it steamed up and smelled like broccoli. The passenger door wouldn’t open from the outside. I had to wedge something into the release switch thingy to get the gas cap to open. The air conditioning was busted a long time ago. It had a slight moth infestation. The driver-side mirror had been knocked off by a semi (and then the trucking company denied it happened and I couldn’t afford to have it fixed). The cd player only worked if you kept pushing the cd back into it over and over again and it finally gave in. I was told to replace the struts about 10 years ago and never did. Oh but it got me from A to B for fourteen years and no car payments.

img_8035

On Valentine’s Day, the engine shut off while I was attempting the 60 minute commute to Eagle Rock and, miraculously, I had enough momentum to get to the side of the road. The mechanic said it needed a new engine and didn’t recommend that I put the money into it.

img_8034-2

Kars 4 Kids will be putting it out of its misery officially.

In lieu of flowers, please get yourself a nice car wash and possibly, a sparkly license plate frame.

Happy trails, my little car. Rest in pieces.

 

P.S. Here’s an article about Camrys from the 90’s written 4 years ago that you might enjoy: https://www.theonion.com/toyota-recalls-1993-camry-due-to-fact-that-owners-reall-1819577805

Witticisms in Waste Canvas

Let’s forget all of the things that are happening in the government and government-funded jobs you and I may be working for- and LET’S GO ON AN INTERNET ADVENTURE!

I have to say that I feel a bit incomplete now that my JT portrait cross stitch is done and I’ve been struggling to find another project that’s anywhere near as exciting. I might have found it. I remember a classmate of mine in 8th grade cross-stitching a cat face onto a purple sweatshirt. I want to cross stitch something into a purple sweatshirt. I have figured out at least one brand name of cross stitch kits from the 80’s-90’s that are still very much available on Etsy and Ebay and I wanted to share with you my favorites.

Which one should I pick??

all the malls

I mean I don’t know about you, but I absolutely need a lace-collared T-shirt with a goose overwhelmed about all the malls she has to choose from. Remember malls?

Let’s continue the goose theme:

les gis

FRENCH GEESE!!! LES GIS!! With an adult RIBBON DETAIL! How do I choose? OH MY GOD.

clown on purpose

A CLOWN ON PURPOSE!!!!!!

mallard

Shhhhh I’m already getting started on my husband’s Christmas present for next year.

 

kitty love

I might just go with the cat. It’s what you’re expecting, isn’t it?

teddy love

BUT WHO CAN RESIST TEDDY BEARS IN THE SHAPES OF LETTERS?????? NO ONE!!!

And then I found this:

witticisms in waste canvas

I wasn’t old enough to wear things that said “I don’t know if life is passing me by or trying to run me over” back when these were popular. My time has finally come.

And OH GOD- type in “WASTE CANVAS” into eBay and see you next week because you will find some amazing, incredible things to be stitched on clothing to be worn by actual people. I mean OH my god. I might have found my true purpose in life.

WHICH ONE SHOULD I START WITH, THO? HELP, INTERNET!!! WHERE’S THE CAPS LOCK ON A CHROMEBOOK???

This book exists

My grandmother was gracious enough to let me go through her collection of kids books and take a pile home for my son. She was a teacher and she has six grandchildren so she has quite a collection of quality children’s literature.

Including this rap-in-book…

img_7864

Written by Bobbi Katz and published in 1991. I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves a bit:

img_7865.jpg

img_7866

img_7868

img_7867

My first thought when I found this book was “Oh no- I have to make an internet video!” because this has to have an internet video and ain’t nobody got time for that. Luckily, some people on the internet had time for that and made videos so I don’t have to.

You should start by watching this one– a quality reading of the rap with beatboxing.  And then, now that you’ve heard it, watch the live action version.

I don’t have a lot more to say about this except- how cool that it exists and what an encapsulation of the early nineties. I definitely do not remember this from my childhood and I felt the need to share it with the 2 people who read my blog and the one person who followed the #linkinbio from Instagram (thank you three- you guys are great).

 

 

Decluttering by making time for projects: Here’s a cross-stitch portrait of Justin Timberlake

jt hoop

I’m bringing cross-stitch back

Sometimes you keep a “Cross-Stitch Crazy” magazine for 10 years because there’s a pattern in it for a portrait of a celebrity that your sister-in-law is hopelessly devoted to. I think we keep things like this to buy time. We think if we have the things for projects we want to do someday, then that someday will come. We’ll live long enough to find the time to do all the things we’ve ever wanted to do. And when that time comes, by golly, we’ll have the pattern for it.

It was way back in February, during a week my mom was visiting, that I decided to go to Michael’s and pick up the 15 shades of embroidery floss I needed to make this thing a reality. It was so long ago, I honestly don’t remember whether there was something specific that made me finally pull the trigger other than my general drive to “make time for projects” that I’ve been riding ever since reading “The Happiness Project.”

jt close up

The whole thing took about 9 months to complete (yes- like a baby for people who get to have full-term pregnancies…). I worked at it while we did movie nights so I wouldn’t fall asleep 20 minutes into the show like I usually do.  I took it to craft night events. It was ridiculously difficult to not say anything about it on social media. It was the longest and most intensive craft project I’ve ever completed. And I can cross-stitch now! Right after I finished this project, I quickly churned out another SSDGM hoop for my book-club secret Santa. (Bloody alphabet pattern from Starkissed Jade on etsy & flower pattern from this image I found on Pinterest... don’t know where it originated from…) It’s also like I didn’t know what to do with my fingers once the portrait was done… And MFM hoops are SO IN RIGHT NOW.

ssdgm hoop

Cross-stitching is oddly addictive. It’s like checking off a million boxes on a to-do list. I’d always be like- yeah I’ll go to bed once I’m done with this row but then I’d be like OMG I GET TO START A NEW ROW!

A few days before I finished the Justin Timberlake project, my son threw up on the pattern (the pattern in the magazine, not the project). So then I did part with that magazine. I don’t know what I would have done with it if that hadn’t happened… I’m afraid I might have still held onto it for nostalgia’s sake- or maybe I would have cut out the pattern and put it in my art journal…

But anyway- I write about this thing I made and let go of on the day when I’ve acquired so much more stuff, including a sassy little Chromebook I’m writing this post on. (My old computer stopped working with WordPress so I had to abandon blogging even more than I already abandon it.) It was so awesome to be able to give a Christmas present I’ve been meaning to give someone for 10 years (I didn’t actually get to see her open it since she lives like 3,000 miles away. It was still absolutely worth it). If any of you are holding onto something for the same reason, I highly recommend you make like Nike and just do it. “I haven’t done anything with it in 10 years” might not be a good reason to get rid of something. If you think about why you’ve kept it for so long- maybe it’s worth it to you to make the time to use it.  You can declutter by making time for your projects.

smile selfie jt

And Merry Christmas!

 

 

Twin Peaks Tuesday: Log Lady Style

It’s a long-term goal I have to cultivate my own spin on Margaret Lanterman’s look. My husband got my first signature piece- the wooden leaf and acorn brooch. This is actual vintage from the nineties (I am crying about how old that just made me feel!!!). The only ones I can find are on Etsy and Ebay. I wore it with my squirrel/mushroom dress from ModCloth which I can’t believe doesn’t also have acorns on it. Also… I guess it’s fall now. The fall is not what it seems here in sunny SoCal.

***picture from Variety who credits ABC

(Almost the same pin, right??)

I got new glasses and I legit tried to find some red-rimmed ones but no luck. Warby Parker doesn’t have any either… Does anyone know of any other online glasses retailers that they trust? I like these but I’m kinda afraid of “ezcontacts.com” Oh well, I’ll just take my time. The fish aren’t running.